Some Lucky Night

This is one of my favorite songs by M. Ward. I can't resist listening to it when I walk through the city at night — it's great for unwinding. 

I believe the reason why I've found great significance in this song is that at times I simply feel lost. And that's okay! There's nothing wrong with feeling lost, it usually leads to discovery and growth. I often feel lost when I think of the past, and what life used to be like; the things I could never appreciate when I was surrounded by them. Simple things like space, comfort, familiarity — even in moments of sadness or anxiety, there was always something recognizable to cling to. Leafing through pages of my journal, a year ago I wrote, "I have no idea where I'll be a year from now…I want to be thrown into uncertainty." Now I know, and now I have all the unanswered questions I could ever ask for, and now I can't believe I wished for this. But I can. 

I wrote those words from my bedroom in Moorhead, MN. One-thousand four-hundred thirty-three miles away. I miss the grocery store I shopped at because I knew where everything was. I miss the Starbucks I went to, because everyone knew my name and always got my drink right. I miss cheap drinks. I miss the people I don't miss. I miss the abundance. I miss the instant gratification. I miss putting my foot on a gas pedal.

Put a dollar into the machine and you'll remember when

When I listen to this song, I think of someone walking all day and night in search of something. Dripping down an avenue in Manhattan, looking for something that explains it all, and wondering where they're headed. That same feeling I felt one-thousand four-hundred thirty-three miles down the road followed me here.

I'll know when everything feels right  
Some lucky night


Anonymous said...

I feel like this poem relates very well with what you're saying. The wisdom and experience you gain from journeying is invaluable. Find comfort in the fact that the things you miss will be there when you return. You're living beautifully, and that counts for a lot.



by Constantine P. Cavafy

English version by George Barbanis
Original Language Greek

"When you set out on your journey to Ithaca,
pray that the road is long,
full of adventure, full of knowledge.
The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,
the angry Poseidon -- do not fear them:
You will never find such as these on your path,
if your thoughts remain lofty, if a fine
emotion touches your spirit and your body.
The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,
the fierce Poseidon you will never encounter,
if you do not carry them within your soul,
if your soul does not set them up before you.

Pray that the road is long.
That the summer mornings are many, when,
with such pleasure, with such joy
you will enter ports seen for the first time;
stop at Phoenician markets,
and purchase fine merchandise,
mother-of-pearl and coral, amber, and ebony,
and sensual perfumes of all kinds,
as many sensual perfumes as you can;
visit many Egyptian cities,
to learn and learn from scholars.

Always keep Ithaca on your mind.
To arrive there is your ultimate goal.
But do not hurry the voyage at all.
It is better to let it last for many years;
and to anchor at the island when you are old,
rich with all you have gained on the way,
not expecting that Ithaca will offer you riches.

Ithaca has given you the beautiful voyage.
Without her you would have never set out on the road.
She has nothing more to give you.

And if you find her poor, Ithaca has not deceived you.
Wise as you have become, with so much experience,
you must already have understood what these Ithacas mean."

approximately said...

Beautiful — thank you!